Life, it seems, caught up with me. It’s been a while since my last post. Let’s see, what’s been happening?
1. I was made redundant from a job I loved;
2. I found another job MUCH further away from home and in a completely toxic environment; causing me stress, making me drink more, and bringing back all my bad stress-eating habits. Chocolate became my best frenemy. I lost, then gained and in Dec 2019 more fluid was added to the band;
3. After some more horrific experiences at work I decided to leave the job all together in Feb 2020. I had not other job lined up, so I was unamployed for the first time in almost 14 years;
4. My weight had plateaued. I wasn’t gaining, but I wasn’t losing either;
5. I found a new job, in a public library service. Just before lockdown.
6. I started my new job – in lockdown. It has been AMAZING. I started losing weight again, almost immediately.
7. As of today, I weigh 93 kg. I am now only FOUR kilograms away from my target weight. I am the lightest I have been in 12 years.
It is even clearer to me that my weight/eating problems have always been emotional ones. The unhappier/lonelier/more stressed I was, the more I ate or ate the wrong things. When I feel confident, loved, happy and respected – as I do now – I have no need for the solace of food.
This self-knowledge helps me guard against travelling back down that dark road. I revisited for a little while last year, but I found my way out, and learned a lot about myself and what I am worth. This journey (yes, that word – ugh) is worth it, I am worth it. My family and friends continue to be a support network and I cannot adequately express the impact they have on my life.
I am nearly at the end of the first leg of the journey. Now I have to find out if I can stop the u-turns and stay on track long-term.
Let’s find out together. I am hoping by Christmas I will be at goal. I will try to post more often. Thanks for reading this. It makes me feel less alone.