A week to celebrate hitting another milestone. Went to bariatric clinic again this week and had a very small loss. I did indicate that I had my period and I always gain fluid at that time. They wanted to add some more saline to the band, but since we are off to Port Douglas next week they elected to wait until my return. Sure enough, I dropped nearly a kilo yesterday and a few hundred grams today and droppped below 120kg for the FIRST TIME IN FOUR YEARS. I am thrilled. It also means if I can keep the weight coming off over the next two weeks, I might not have to have saline added after all. In any case, I feel healthy, I feel positive, and I finally feel like I have control of my body and what it is doing.
Today, I tried on a new bra I bought a while ago. I inadvertently bought it a size too small. I now fit into it. The means I have dropped a full bra size! I also bought a new pair of tracksuit pants this week – and they fitted! I haven’t been able to buy a pair for nearly 2 years and have relied on yoga pants. Now I am warm, relaxed, and looking forward to buying some exercise gear soon to start some personal training. I can’t wait, because that will also help to push the weight loss along, and start helping me tone up too.
There has been a “down” moment as well. It involves a long-standing friend and her refusal to even mention my surgery or weight loss after not seeing me since before I had the band put on. She has weight issues of her own, and I learned the hard way early on to never mention her weight. But I thought, after waiting for 12 months to have this surgery, that there would at least have been an inquiry about how the surgery went, about how different I look – ANYTHING. But, nothing. We have been friends since high school. I was very hurt when I left her last night. I feel like it has exposed a rift in our relationship that I had been blind to, until now. I wonder if I can go forward and NOT tell her how hurt I am (she won’t see this as she is not on social media). Her lack of tangible support will not stop me. It will not discourage me from my goals. But it makes me question lots of other things. I am so grateful to everyone who is supportive of my choices, to all those who offer words and gestures of encouragement. You know who you are and I thank you. I just wish I could take this friend with me on the ride.
I love my life. I love her. But if she can’t even wave from the shoreline I may have to sail on without her. I just don’t know.