Double Digits

So, fourteen months after starting down this road, I have arrived at a BIG milestone. For the first time in eighteen years I weigh less than 100kg. I am about 10kg away from my ultimate goal weight and I feel fantastic.

I’ve been edging towards this point for a long time. It seemed so far away at the beginning. SO far. And now I’m here, watching the scales (the only tangible measurement of my progress) as the numbers get lower.

I bought my first pair of button and zip jeans in 20 years last week. I am able to meet my step quota on my Garmin fitness tracker almost every day – without feeling exhausted. People I haven’t seen in a year do not recognise when we finally meet again, because my whole face has changed.

I only eat two small meals a day, but it’s enough. I don’t think about food in the same way anymore. I still enjoy eating, but it’s incidental rather than an objective as it once was. I look back now, not at WHAT I was eating, but HOW MUCH and I find it hard to comprehend fitting that much in.

I remember our holiday to Airlie Beach a few years ago, to celebrate my father-in-law’s 70th birthday. We were staying at a resort in Proserpine that had an awesome pool with a killer water slide. The kids were loving it and I was in the pool with them. A teenage girl took it upon herself to comment on the fact that I was in the pool. Lots of comments about being a “whale” and how she couldn’t believe I would dare to wear bathers and embarrass my children by even being here and having fun with them. I didn’t enjoy the pool so much after that. I didn’t slide down the slide again, just stayed on the sidelines and let the kids have fun with their Dad.

Over the last 20 years there have been many such people with observations to make -all of them uninvited and NONE of them helpful. Many have been students, particularly very young kids who often have no filter. I never wanted to be an advocate for overweight people. I never wanted to be someone who “educates” people; the one to tell them that their comments CAN be heard, and that they HURT.

I am including two photos in this post. One was taken on March 24 2017. The other was taken today. And I say to that girl from the resort pool. LANGUAGE WARNING….

Fuck you. Screw your warped attitude and cruelty. If I could do it over again, I would slide down the pool slide and land on your sourpuss face, in all my glory. I post these photos to show that I am in control of my body, and NOW I am in control of how I feel about it too. I am thinner, yes, but the most important thing is that I am HEALTHIER, FITTER, and more positive about life than I have been in a LONG time.

March 2017

July 2018

Enough looking back. It’s all forward now, as I stride towards reaching goal weight. I only have about 10kg to go and by the end of this year I will be there. Forever.

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