This week I hit a total loss of 15kgs. Took some measurements too. I have lost 10cm off my hips, 3cm off my waist and nearly 8cm off my bust. I know my wrists are thinner too – I had to have a link removed from my watchband on the weekend to stop it flopping around! It is still a novelty to be able to walk around without getting exhausted; to walk up stairs and not be panting and sweating at the top; to feel my wedding ring spin around on my finger instead of being wedged in place. I am sleeping better, my skin is clearer, and I feel more in control of my body than I have in years. I did have a little glitch in the past week with a fish burger. Beware the fish burger. It is gluggy and dense and not the friend of the lap-banded person! As my mate Miffy keeps saying “Not the bread! Don’t eat the bread!” Just shows some habits are harder to break than others!
If I can drop another kilo, I will be lightest I have been since my Dad passed away (5 years on the 25th June). The best part is the knowledge that, if I continue to listen to my body and eat the way it tells me to, I will keep this weight off – and lose more.
I feel better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life now. It’s amazing how taking control of one thing can spill over into other parts of your life as well. I am looking at opportunities to work on secondment at a new school campus we are opening next year in Darwin; I am finally genuinely contemplating writing a novel; I make an additional effort to do things and see people where previously I might have made an excuse to get out of it (yes, it happened quite a lot because I was just so tired and sick of myself).
Even better is the knowledge that this first 3 months? This is only the BEGINNING.
Went back to my surgeon yesterday to get weighed and have more saline added to the band. 2.6 kg loss for the last 3 weeks, which was impressive enough not to warrant more saline! No needle! No uncomfortable tummy! BONUS! The specialist is happy with my progress and will see me in 3 more weeks. He even said it is possible they might not need to add any more for quite a while if my progress is steady and consistent, which is exciting.
What was also exciting, for a different reason, was a woman I confronted in the waiting room for her views about Muslims and immigrants in general. We had a nasty terrorist incident here in Melbourne this week. A bystander died, 3 police members were injured, and the perpetrator was shot and killed by police after a stand-off siege. So, this woman was reading, at a loud volume, an online news article to the person she was with (sister, friend, I dunno) and started going on about “towel heads” and other similar derogatory terms. I was sitting nearby and voiced my objections to her characterisations and asked her to tone it down. She, in turn, told me that Australia would be better off with no immigrants at all. I replied that she might be right, because unless she was an indigenous Australian she was an immigrant too – and we’d be better off without people like her here. With nowhere to go, she told me to f#%k off. I went in to get weighed and when I came out she was gone (presumably in to her appointment). We didn’t cross paths again. When I had finished my appointment and I was booking my next one, I apologised to the receptionist for making a scene with this lady and she was aghast.
“You do not need to apologise for anything,” she told me. “I wanted to thank you for speaking up. Not many people would. I am an immigrant, and I appreciated you putting her in her place. I am sorry she was so unpleasant to you.” I told her that I had been at a conference on the weekend (#YAMatters: Reading Matters 2017) where one of the overarching themes was acceptance over tolerance; and promoting diversity in literature. I said that I had seen an opportunity to make a small difference, so I did. I am so glad that I found the courage to call this woman out. I guess on reflection, if I am honest, if I had had more time to think about it, I might have worried about physical danger because she was taller and wider than me and was with someone. But I just had to back myself – and her.
How dare this ugly person say those things? Obviously I had reached a point where I had heard enough of this talk and spoke up. Next time, and I am sure one day this will happen again somehow, somewhere, I will step forward and speak again.
Bring on Week 12.
After the lamb incident everything has settled down quite well. Have reached 14kg lost and feeling great. Had to have a pair of jeans TAKEN IN this week because the waist band was gaping – a first.
I am at a fabulous YA Lit conference this weekend and there have been firsts here too. Walking to the venue this year was not the sweaty, panting, out of breath experience it was 2 years ago at the same conference – another first. Walking up and down the stairs at the venue was easy – another first. I bought a t-shirt from the event bookseller in a size L – yet another first (well, not for the last 4 years anyway). And then, back in the hotel room tonight, I could put on the hotel bathrobe! Last time I could not even get it around me! A definite first!
There have been a couple of hiccups today too, like not being able to eat breakfast, and a dodgy room service meal last night, but for the most part this week has been good. It is getting easier to tell when I am losing weight too. I can tell by how many times I have to take a whizz. The more wee, the more weight lost.
I feel so lucky to have been able to take this step towards changing my life and health for the better. My friends and family are being so very supportive and I honestly could not do it without all of them in my corner, so I just want to say thank you.
I see my surgeon next week to hopefully put in some more saline. Hopefully it will be a less painful experience than last time. 🙄
To round things off, here is a photo of me in that bathrobe!
A slight rise in weight, but that’s not the hard part. Cooked a lovely lamb roast for dinner tonight. It seems that roast lamb and I can’t be friends any more, at least for the time being. After the second trip to the loo to regurgitate everything I had eaten to that point, I was done with dinner. The rest went into the bin in disgust. Might have a crumpet with a cup of tea later. Feeling very flat. I had looked forwarding to sharing a nice meal with the family and all they saw was my back as I walked quickly to the toilet to throw up. I know this is just a misstep, but it feels bloody crappy, and now my chest is sore. I think it’ll be an early bedtime for me tonight. Just want to curl up and wish the world away. Kinda over it a little tonight. Sorry to be such a downer, devoted readers. I’ll be fine tomorrow. After all, it’s another day. 🙊🙊🙊
Everything has more or less settled back into a routine since the adjustment last week, thank goodness. Managed a lovely brunch yesterday with close friends – without regurgitation issues, so that was a bonus. Ordering breakfast meals WITHOUT the toast is definitely the way to go!
Last night I decided to have a glass of red while cooking dinner for the family and watching the news.
Well, well, well…turns out making one’s stomach smaller makes one get pissed quicker and with less! By the time I served dinner I was flying. I was one relaxed mummy! I can see that doing shots and drinking cocktails as I did on my cruise last year will become a thing of the past. More like doing A SHOT and having A COCKTAIL. At least it’ll be cheap!
I did manage to successfully ingest and retain the wine, so I will just have to really really savour it when I do drink it (it’s not like we drink wine every day or anything). Perhaps this means when we go to dinner somewhere I need to order the most expensive wine by the glass and enjoy the ride.
Learning every day. Fast approaching the 120kg mark. When that happens I will be the lightest I have been in three years.
Bring it on.
Landmark day today. 12kg lost, but that’s not the biggest thing that’s happened.
Today I put on pantyhose, and I am wearing them comfortably, for the first time in FIVE YEARS. Let me repeat that. FIVE YEARS.
Over the past 5 years, every time I tried to wear pantyhose (yes, even the ones made for larger women) I would struggle and strain to put them on. Sometimes I would give up, sometimes they would tear (often, actually) and I would throw them away in disgust, and very rarely I would get them on. IF I actually managed to get them on, I felt like a sausage squeezed into a too-tight case. My legs would rub together and chafe and give me a terrible rash from the friction created. I stopped trying all together about 2 years ago and resigned myself to long-ish skirts, and pants, so I could wear knee-high stockings and be comfortable.
Today, I am wearing pantyhose and my legs are warm. I am in a knee length straight skirt and my legs are not creating pantyhose friction.
Today, dear readers, is a very good day.
Today I went back to have another band adjustment. It did not go as smoothly as last time. The Dr had to dig around to find my port with the needle. Not once, but TWICE. It hurt. A lot. Last time the whole process took around 20 minutes. This time it was the better part of an hour. I am still sore from all that digging, but I had 0.5ml added to the band, so the size of my stomach is now smaller. I could feel the difference straight away. Luckily I brought lunch from home today. Three spoonfuls of bolognese with a little cheese was more than enough for me. In fact, I couldn’t finish it. For dinner tonight it was steamed fish in a bag and some steamed veg. A serve about a third of what I would have eaten 2 months ago. What’s interesting to me is how little I eat now and still feel satisfied. And also, how little I think about food in between.
The Dr is pleased with my progress and says I have the right attitude and expectations of the process, which is pleasing to me too. It’s amazing how I get more work done in my day by not thinking about food. I realise now that I did that a lot. Now I just don’t really focus on it too much (despite how it looks when you read this blog).
The next step will be to increase my physical activity in order to boost the weight loss. I have already started moving around at work more. Last week I had to kneel at work, and I got up easily! I climbed 3 flights of stairs and I wasn’t sweaty and puffing at the top. I can walk a circuit of the school, and not be limping afterwards. And THAT is the best side effect of all. FEELING better. Looking better is just a bonus.
Hopefully things will settle quickly after this adjustment. The next one is in 3 weeks, so I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks for reading.