A slight rise in weight, but that’s not the hard part. Cooked a lovely lamb roast for dinner tonight. It seems that roast lamb and I can’t be friends any more, at least for the time being. After the second trip to the loo to regurgitate everything I had eaten to that point, I was done with dinner. The rest went into the bin in disgust. Might have a crumpet with a cup of tea later. Feeling very flat. I had looked forwarding to sharing a nice meal with the family and all they saw was my back as I walked quickly to the toilet to throw up. I know this is just a misstep, but it feels bloody crappy, and now my chest is sore. I think it’ll be an early bedtime for me tonight. Just want to curl up and wish the world away. Kinda over it a little tonight. Sorry to be such a downer, devoted readers. I’ll be fine tomorrow. After all, it’s another day. 🙊🙊🙊
Everything has more or less settled back into a routine since the adjustment last week, thank goodness. Managed a lovely brunch yesterday with close friends – without regurgitation issues, so that was a bonus. Ordering breakfast meals WITHOUT the toast is definitely the way to go!
Last night I decided to have a glass of red while cooking dinner for the family and watching the news.
Well, well, well…turns out making one’s stomach smaller makes one get pissed quicker and with less! By the time I served dinner I was flying. I was one relaxed mummy! I can see that doing shots and drinking cocktails as I did on my cruise last year will become a thing of the past. More like doing A SHOT and having A COCKTAIL. At least it’ll be cheap!
I did manage to successfully ingest and retain the wine, so I will just have to really really savour it when I do drink it (it’s not like we drink wine every day or anything). Perhaps this means when we go to dinner somewhere I need to order the most expensive wine by the glass and enjoy the ride.
Learning every day. Fast approaching the 120kg mark. When that happens I will be the lightest I have been in three years.
Bring it on.
Landmark day today. 12kg lost, but that’s not the biggest thing that’s happened.
Today I put on pantyhose, and I am wearing them comfortably, for the first time in FIVE YEARS. Let me repeat that. FIVE YEARS.
Over the past 5 years, every time I tried to wear pantyhose (yes, even the ones made for larger women) I would struggle and strain to put them on. Sometimes I would give up, sometimes they would tear (often, actually) and I would throw them away in disgust, and very rarely I would get them on. IF I actually managed to get them on, I felt like a sausage squeezed into a too-tight case. My legs would rub together and chafe and give me a terrible rash from the friction created. I stopped trying all together about 2 years ago and resigned myself to long-ish skirts, and pants, so I could wear knee-high stockings and be comfortable.
Today, I am wearing pantyhose and my legs are warm. I am in a knee length straight skirt and my legs are not creating pantyhose friction.
Today, dear readers, is a very good day.
Today I went back to have another band adjustment. It did not go as smoothly as last time. The Dr had to dig around to find my port with the needle. Not once, but TWICE. It hurt. A lot. Last time the whole process took around 20 minutes. This time it was the better part of an hour. I am still sore from all that digging, but I had 0.5ml added to the band, so the size of my stomach is now smaller. I could feel the difference straight away. Luckily I brought lunch from home today. Three spoonfuls of bolognese with a little cheese was more than enough for me. In fact, I couldn’t finish it. For dinner tonight it was steamed fish in a bag and some steamed veg. A serve about a third of what I would have eaten 2 months ago. What’s interesting to me is how little I eat now and still feel satisfied. And also, how little I think about food in between.
The Dr is pleased with my progress and says I have the right attitude and expectations of the process, which is pleasing to me too. It’s amazing how I get more work done in my day by not thinking about food. I realise now that I did that a lot. Now I just don’t really focus on it too much (despite how it looks when you read this blog).
The next step will be to increase my physical activity in order to boost the weight loss. I have already started moving around at work more. Last week I had to kneel at work, and I got up easily! I climbed 3 flights of stairs and I wasn’t sweaty and puffing at the top. I can walk a circuit of the school, and not be limping afterwards. And THAT is the best side effect of all. FEELING better. Looking better is just a bonus.
Hopefully things will settle quickly after this adjustment. The next one is in 3 weeks, so I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks for reading.
After the ordeal of brunch last weekend, I decided to take a softly, softly approach to my eating and just ease my way along. By Monday I was coping well. The key has certainly been to take smaller mouth/forkfuls and chew them for as long as possible. I can no longer tolerate Weetbix – too much like hummus, I think it gums up the works. This is devastating as it was my go-to breakfast on a cold winter morning. Might have to look at instant porridge instead.
The good news is that I can now eat English muffins and crumpets! So baked beans on a toasted muffin is a quick and yummy brekkie – when I have brekkie. I still am not eating breakfast every day. It just depends on how full I feel. I now keep snacks like Ryvita or Cruskits at work so if I do get peckish mid-morning, I can have a little something to keep me going. Often, though, I will just wait until lunchtime – working in a school means I have restrictions on when I am allowed to stop to eat something, and since eating takes at least 15-20 minutes now I can no longer eat “on the run” as I used to.
I have been shocked at how little I need to eat in order to:
- Feel satisfied
- Maintain energy levels (although I am dog-tired by the end of the day)
- Lose weight.
Now it’s just a matter of taking one day at a time and making these new habits life habits. Next week I am back to have the band tightened or loosened. I am pretty sure they’ll be putting more saline in because I am just starting to eat more than I probably should be able to. Then the whole process starts again – until we reach the optimal band size.
Went out to eat with friends for brunch this morning at one of our favourite locals. By 10:30 I was feeling ready to eat, so I ordered mushrooms and hoummus on a bagel with avocado and a poached egg. If it sounds ambitious, you’re right.
- Probably should have forgone the bagel
- Probably should have chosen something smaller
- Definitely should have avoided hoummus.
Avo? Lovely. Egg? Great. Mushies? Okay to a point. Bagel? Not a good idea – too dense. Hoummus? VERY bad idea. I thought the hoummus would be good. Soft, nutritious. Nope. Turns out what hoummus is best at is sticking things together. Gumming up the works, if you will. This resulted in two trips to the establishment’s toilet. The first, a calm walk and deliberate expunging of the blockage. The second, an agony-filled race to the toilet before all the cafe patrons got to see what I had just tried to ingest.
Fortunately our friends are pretty easy going folk and were aware what was going on, so no cause for embarrassment. Just a sense of annoyance from me and feeling like I took a backward step. I ate slowly, I even remembered to take smaller mouthfuls, but the hoummus brought me undone. Clearly this is the next learning curve, running parallel to the how to eat curve : WHAT to eat/ not eat.
So, scratch hoummus, at least for now while I settle into a “band rhythm”.
And it really looks like breakfast, my favourite meal to eat out, will be a pot of tea or a couple of lattes for the next little while. That’s okay. At least I don’t run the risk of egging my top anymore. Win.
Hoummus is overrated anyway….although this hoummus was delicious. At least, it was going down…
Note: crumpets go down easier. Had one with honey when we got home and it was great.
That should see me through until dinner – whenever that is.
So, after the ravages of yesterday I decided to re-read my post-surgery guide. As soon as I did, I realised what part of my problem is.
I’m still trying to eat to the old schedule. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. I am SUPPOSED to be eating when I feel hungry, or empty. This morning, I changed tack. For the first time, since I can even remember, I did not eat breakfast. I had a cup of tea. I read my novel at the breakfast table. I had time to bash out another 300 words of my short story before I had to hop into the shower to get ready for work. I feel fine.
I even had time to prepare something to bring for lunch. I have to eat lunch when I am allocated time to do so at work, especially on a day full of classes. I think the trick will be to have things I can take a couple of bites of, if I need it, and then pop away again until I have the time or inclination to eat more.
Of course I always knew the real work would be the behaviour changes, I just forgot that yesterday. I was sore, and sick, and tired. I crawled into bed early and slept soundly until the alarm woke us.
Now I am feeling more positive – and I thought I should share that after feeling so awful and negative about everything yesterday.
It is getting better. All the time.